Informative Then Funny I’m getting the site ready for the new year, let’s all hope it is better than the last. Every year certain things on the site have to be updated. You probably will not ever notice this, but it does take me time. I can’t believe how long I have been online between the two, actually three, sites I have had with different names. The first one was named the Secret Truth, the second was About Facts and now we have Truth Facts. When a domain and webspace is purchased, there can be many pitfalls. It is not just a matter of going with the cheapest host. I tried that. The reason was I derive no funds from the site, it is a work of love and I thought I had a deal until I needed to expand because I was getting more traffic than the site could cope with. This didn’t work out and the host told me even though the site was no longer working it was my problem. I had changed nothing and the host had moved everything over to the bigger site. The problem was some sort of technical one on their end, but since the site was in Rumania, and they had my money I was basically told too bad. Thank goodness I used a credit card because I stopped the payment and even got the extra money I had paid on the original site because I didn’t have it for the entire year. The manager of the site was furious and tied the name up so I couldn’t move it to a new site, so I had to rename my site and that is how it became Truth Facts instead of About Facts. Now that I have bored you sufficiently, I would like to tell you some stories and jokes which I think were funny. I have a friend who really does some funny things and I know he would not mind me telling you this. There is a famous toy store in New York City named F.A.O. Schwarz. One day my friend was standing outside and he was mistaken for someone who worked there and a very snotty woman came up to him and said you will watch my grand children while I go in and shop. My friend simply said NO. She said what did you say and he said no again. She said she was going to get the manager and he waited there. When she came back, she pointed him out and wanted something done. The manager informed her he didn’t work for the store. She got even angrier at him and said why didn’t you tell me that? He said because you were too nasty. As he walked away, she was screaming at him. I heard an old joke, but I can’t help laughing at it when I hear it, so I will share it with you. A man said I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather not like is 66 passengers. There are all kinds of jokes, some are children’s jokes and others are more on the adult side. I am not a big fan of some of the dirty jokes I hear comedians telling and most of them are not even funny. If someone were to ask me who was the funniest joke teller, I would have to say the late George Carlin. Even the dirty jokes were funny. Carlin just had a way of making people laugh and sometimes what he said was so outrageous, another comedian couldn’t tell them and make any one laugh. A chicken sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says sorry, we don’t serve food here. One thing there seems to be plenty of are what is known as one liners and sometimes dad jokes. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels. What has more letters than the alphabet? The post office. I don’t trust trees; they are too shady. How do you make 7 even? You take away the s. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese. I ordered a chicken and an egg, I let you know what comes first. A man was reading a book about anti-gravity, it was impossible to put down. What is the best smelling insect? A deodor-ant. Why do birds fly south? Because its too far to walk. One liners can be funny, but sometimes you need a little more. A frightened man goes to the secret police and says, my talking parrot disappeared. Why did you come here? Go to the regular police. I will. I’m just here to tell you that I disagree with whatever that parrot is going to say. A mother went to visit her son who was in college. When she got to the apartment he was renting, there was a beautiful girl there. Her son said this is my roommate. The mother got suspicious and thought there could be something going on there. The son assured her they were just roommates. A few days later the girl told the son there was a valuable statue missing after the mother left and no one had been there since. She urged him to write to his mother and ask about the statue. The son wrote asking his mother if she knew anything about the statue. He went on to say he was not saying she took it or she didn’t, he was just asking. The mother wrote back, I am not saying you are sleeping with this girl or you are not, but the statue is in her bed and has been since I left. A guy walks into a book store to buy a book about turtles. It seems he has a turtle for a pet. He walks all through the store but can’t find any turtle book so he decides to ask the sales girl. She replies hardback? The guy says yes and they bury their eggs in the sand. A guy got pulled over for speeding and the small town cop didn’t want to hear any excuses. The guy kept trying to tell his side of why he was speeding but the cop told him to shut up and took him to jail. After a few hours the cop went over to the cell and said lucky for you the chief is at his daughter’s wedding and should come back in a very good mood. The guy said I don’t thinks so, I’m the groom.
|
