Unusual Inventions Ah, let’s look at some inventions, that's always fun, isn't it? Well, in the area of games that didn't make it, there was the electronic Rubik's Cube, PATENT:US04817952. It counted the turns made. Poor Rubik, the puzzle never made it, but not to be outdone by the puzzle, Rubik made a glider which didn't seem to make it either, PATENT:US04773619. What about US Patent 6,409,838? That's a nice pair of sun glasses with a built in fan. You never know when you might want a breeze. Did you ever want a dimple? Well with a dimple drill anyone can have that dimple they have always dreamed of. US Patent 560,351. Hope you are good with a drill. Are the stores keeping you out because you are wearing skates? You can always get a pair of knee skates; this will leave your feet free. US Patent 5,572,224 Madam have a run in her panty hose? No problem with 3 legged panty hose, simply switch to a new leg. US Patent 5,713,081. I can’t help it this just makes me laugh and wonder if that extra leg could be used for something else? I’ll have to think about that. Do you get too hot because you are walking in the sun? Never fear because we have a flat helium balloon that will float over your head where ever you go. US Patent 5,076,029. Does your little one jump out of his or her skin when the old doc has to give them a shot? Why not let him use his Bunny Syringe. US Patent 3,299,891. Somehow, I don’t think this would help and might even make the kid afraid of bunnies in the future. Does your teenager get tired when you both go for long walks? Thank goodness the solution is here. A belt with stirrups that you wear allows your large kid to climb aboard you for a lift home. US Patent 6,365,765. How about letting them get a little exercise everyday instead of letting them sit on the couch playing video games all day. Does your deceased loved one need to tell the time? Apparently, someone thinks so. There is a French Patent No. FR2780195, for a sundial for grave stones. Now answer this question for me, if it is a cloudy day how is your deceased loved one going to know what time it is? I think a better option would be one of those nuclear clocks which would run for many millions of years. If you can’t afford that you can buy a timepiece synchronized to a time signal which is broadcast to it. The problem is who is going to change the battery every 5 years or so? Maybe you better make it solar powered. Want to strengthen your teeth and gums. Patent No. 1,466,559 is for a device that has a metal plate on each end of a cable, allowing two people to put a plate in their mouths and pull against each other, much as a dog’s pull toy. I can just see it now, two people doing this in the park on a nice sunny day. You might even be lucky enough to see one pull out a tooth from the other. Are the kids driving you crazy by fighting in the car? Why not put a glass partition between them? Patent No. 6,260,903. That sounds very safe if you get into an accident. Shattered glass is not dangerous is it? Holding that cigarette making you tired? Why not buy a cigarette ring you can wear that the lit cigarette inserts into? By the way, don't try and put your hand in your pocket with a lit cigarette in the ring. Patent 2,109,609. How about a sleeve which goes behind your ear which you can put that lit cigarette into? Don’t forget it is there and try and kiss your wife. If you want to know if a woman’s husband smokes just look for all the burns on the side of her head. Feeling a little gassy lately? Well worry not because we have polyurethane-coated nylon underwear. Oh, did I mention its air tight? US Patent 5,593,398. It will be easy to know is someone passed gas because their clothes will look like there is a balloon under them. Want glasses without legs and I don't mean a monocle? Well, all you have to do is glue metal plates to the side of your head and the glasses will be magnetically held there. US Patent 05719655. What a great idea I can’t wait for this to happen. It is also handy for setting off scanners at the airport but don’t worry, when you tell the TSA you glued the plates there, I am sure they will understand. Know someone who really wants to be stylish? Here is the item for them, pants that separate into individual legs by unzipping. This allows a person to attach a different leg allowing for some very interesting matches. US Patent 6,161,223. Has fashion gone to far? I can see it now; the zipper breaks and a leg falls off. Getting a little thin on top? Worry not because this patent is for a procedure of combing your hair over to hide that bald spot. I must confess, a lot of men are violating this patent because they already do this. US Patent 4,022,227. Remember there is a patent for this so before you do this with your hair you better get permission. Can't train your child to go. Get the doll that poops. US Patent 5,890,907. Who is going to clean up after the doll? There are many other inventions that I don't know the patent numbers for. Some of these are quite interesting like the pneumatic shoe lacer the Japanese hard hat with the giant suction cup on the back to stick on train walls and windows by where you are standing so you can relax. How about the two small funnels attached to an eye glass frame so that you can put them on and pour eye drops in your eyes more easily, or so they say? The umbrella with the plastic curtain around it seems almost practical for those heavy downpours while the two little shoe umbrellas don't seem as useful. For those skiers among you, the ski fan is a big fan that you strapped to your back while skiing, it gave you that added push. For bird hunters we have that great outfit, a cape with a goose head and neck sewn on top. That will really fool them! Strange inventions have always been with us and more of them are being invented every day, but that's good, it keeps us in material.
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