The Holidays Can Be Sad As I write the article for today, I think of all the people who were in my life who are no longer there. Living to an old age is something everybody wants, but it can also mean you have suffered some terrible losses. I have lost aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, my dear wife and dear daughter. Nothing brings this to mind more than the Christmas holidays. I guess in my case the reason is what our traditions used to be. We would all gather together on Christmas eve with all the presents for each other. This did not only include my immediate family but also my daughter’s in-laws. We were all just one happy family. There were so may presents being given out the biggest room in my daughter’s home would have so many wrappings and tissue paper all over it you couldn’t see the actual floor. Children would be diving into their presents and paper would be flying everywhere. It was truly amazing how many people we could squeeze into the room. When we held it at my home it was even harder because my living room was not as big as my daughter’s. Today not only is she gone but so are her in-laws along with their daughter, my son-in-law’s sister. We really had some great times. While I am a lot older than my son-in-law, he has lost an awful lot, having lost both parents, a sister, his wife and some family and friends. One thing is for sure, you may have lost them physically, but they always stay in your heart. I know I will never forget anyone I lost and I think about my beloved wife and daughter every day. The people I feel sorry for, not only during the year, but especially during holiday time are those who now have no one. There are a lot more of them around the country and world than one would suspect. I am very lucky when it comes to that. My children contact me all the time and are frequent visitors as is my son-in-law and my grand-daughter. I remember this sweet old lady who lived near my former home. She had absolutely no one left to visit her. My wife and I would take turns going up to her apartment on the top floor of a private house to keep her company. The funny part of this was our next door neighbor was also a sweet old lady without many visitors who we also befriended. Both of them only lived a couple of houses apart. These people might tell you if you asked, it was not so lucky to have a long life. I have to say I think every life has a reason for it. In some way, maybe unknown to the person, their life might affect someone else’s life and change it even in some small way. I think it is like the butterfly effect. I am a firm believer we all affect each other in some way even when we do not realize it. Take those two sweet old ladies for example, they affected me when I would visit them. They were always upbeat and never complained about their situations. No one could have been nicer. They never let their loneliness grind them down. I am talking about a time without the internet and streaming services so there wasn’t as much to do to stay busy. Today the internet allows us to meet virtually with people and it helps the elderly if they know how to do it. Unfortunately, there are many elderly who have no idea how to use the internet. One of the things which would be nice is if some of the charities could teach the shut-ins and the lonesome how to use the internet, if they could afford the service. There is nothing sadder than watching the very old trying to walk without anyone to help them. I see one man almost every day who is barely able to walk and when he does using his walker is only able to go along at crawl speed. I have to hand it to him for even trying. I went up to him once and asked him if I could help him but he was very proud and said he appreciated it, but declined. One time a few years ago I saw him with one of those carts with two wheels you pull behind you and he started to walk. I ran over to him and asked him if I could give him a ride. He was walking much better in those days, but still seemingly not able to reach the nearest supermarket. He accepted my invitation and to my surprise he wanted to go much further. We landed up at his favorite liquor store. I had no complaints; I was just happy to help the old guy out. One organization which seems to be very good for lonely veterans is the American Legion. I am a member myself and it is a place where everyone is very friendly. It is perfect for putting people at ease. For those who are not vets, there are other friendly clubs out there like the Elks and Moose to name a couple. They don’t seem to demand much of their members and it is a place to go for those who are lonely. One member of the American Legion told me I would be surprised at how many lives were saved by the organization. He was talking about the depressed vets and the lonesome. Vet suicides are high and if even a couple can be prevented, the Legion has done well. One man I knew who was very depressed used to go to a nursing home to visit his wife who had dementia. She had no idea who he was. It was one of the saddest things I ever saw. He was in his 80s and her also. I used to talk to him as I was there to visit my mother. She had to go into the nursing home at 95 because she kept falling down. She lived with my wife and I, and I was too afraid she would hit her head and die. The old guy used to tell me he would go to church gatherings just to meet people. Companionship is very important, especially for the elderly who have a hard time getting around. Getting back to the holidays, I believe that is when they need the most friendship to try and ease the sorrow of the memories of all their lost dear ones. Maybe I am still alive to get this message out, and that is my purpose. If you have lonely elderly friends and relatives, make sure you contact them for the holidays.
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